Chocolate Bunnies and Strawberry Blood
by theAkuRokuFaNaTiC
Summary: Hisoka plus a chocolate bunny equals happiness. Hisoka plus a chocolate bunny plus strawberry syrup times Tsuzuki minus Tsuzuki's brain equals hilarious torture. Slight TsuSoka and TaTari


Hisoka had never been a big fan of chocolate, or sweets in general. They gave you cavities, stomachaches, and who knows what else! So he could not find a suitable answer as to why he was eating a chocolate rabbit. It was sweet, but evil. It was creamy, but evil. It-it has antioxidants. Okay, so candy isn't necessarily bad for you, but he couldn't figure out why he had gone through so much trouble just to have a solid chocolate bunny.

He had to admit, though, Tsuzuki was right. Chocolate was amazing. It was so smooth on the outside, but it melted in your mouth. It was so sweet but you could buy bitter chocolate, too. It was perfect for every occasion.

No, no smiles. There was no way Tsuzuki was going to actually find out that he was right. He would never let Hisoka live it down. He could almost imagine Tsuzuki chanting his "I-was-right" song over and over again. No, it couldn't happen. It wouldn't happen. Should he put down the bunny, or should he eat it quickly? Should he savor it? Or eat it in one bite? There were so many choices, so many ways to eat it. It was an articulate and careful process. First, the ears. Then the edges of the head until you make your way to the eyes, nose, and mouth. You then proceed to the arms and whatever its holding. Only then do you slowly make your way to the legs. First the right. Then the left. If done properly, you should still have some of the lower part of the body left, maybe even the tail, if you didn't rush the process.

Eating a chocolate bunny, for some strange, unknown reason to Hisoka, made him feel in control. He could decide whether to eat it, or not to eat it. He could either let it out of it's misery quickly, or torture it with great care. It was a delicate process, and Hisoka was the type of person to never rush anything, no matter what it is. He chose not to lick the chocolate, that just seemed to gruesome. But he did not refrain from savoring the chocolate in his mouth, however.

He would normally break off the chocolate pieces with his hand to make it neater. He didn't resort to a knife, but if the chocolate was stronger in that area, he would be forced to use his teeth to carefully but savagely rip the limb off of his bunny.

Only half of the bunny was left. Its head was demolished; it was dead. He had been delighted that the iris of the eye had been dark chocolate, while the outer part had been white chocolate, which, Hisoka had read up on, wasn't even chocolate at all. The nose was also dark chocolate, but the mouth, which was only a thin line of milk chocolate, had also been home to some white chocolate teeth protruding out of it.

The bunny was holding a wheelbarrow with a large egg inside. It was made of one-third milk chocolate, one-third white chocolate, and one-third dark chocolate. The wheelbarrow itself was made of milk chocolate, while its wheels were circles of dark chocolate.

The tail was, of course, made of white chocolate. The bunny itself had mostly been made of milk chocolate. Hisoka almost felt bad for eating it. Almost.

After carefully and meticulously torturing his chocolate rabbit for one whole day, it finally gave up the ghost. He hated to admit it, but he had been disappointed at its departure. He wished that there was something more to it, though. Something that made it seem like a real rabbit...

"Hisoka?" Tsuzuki asked, handing him a piece of paperwork. Hisoka snapped out of his bunny trance and turned his attention to Tsuzuki, who was smiling ever-so-slightly. "Chocolate bunny, eh?" Hisoka felt his face go red. Red like blood. Blood...

"That's it!" Hisoka called out randomly. Tsuzuki seemed taken back by this.

He didn't even have time to call out his name before Hisoka was out of the door, now contemplating his newest chocolate bunny's demise. But then, it hit him. Hit him like a ton of bricks with a bulldozer behind them.

So, he purchased a chocolate bunny, made purely of milk chocolate. It wasn't holding anything this time. But Hisoka had also purchased something else.

It was a long process. He almost lost the chocolate bunny because its head almost caved in, but he had successfully made a small hole in it, where he then proceeded to pour in strawberry syrup. But why should he eat it? He wasn't the one who held sweets so high up. No, this special bunny deserved to be shared with Tsuzuki.

"What a long day..." Tsuzuki grumbled, putting the finishing touches on some paperwork. He was quite ticked that he had to be the one to finish up all of the work, considering that his partner had left in such a hurry. What could've gotten him so excited, Tsuzuki wondered, but his thoughts were pulled aside when he noticed something on Hisoka's desk.

"A chocolate bunny?" he asked nervously. He looked around to see if Hisoka had returned yet, but there was no sign of him. Tsuzuki reached out carefully and picked up the bunny, eyeing it closely. "How'd you get in here, little guy?" he asked, examining in for signs of poison. Once it got Tsuzuki's seal of approval, he bit gingerly into it.

It was so sweet, so creamy, the chocolate was so smooth, but what was that odd taste? Tsuzuki opened one eye from his chocolate reverie and found something red oozing out of the rabbit. It was spilling onto his hands, which resulted in a slightly stained shirt. He dropped the bunny immediately.

"A...filling?" he gasped, looking at it again. Then some familiar words entered into his mind. _"I didn't think I'd get the pleasure of this rabbit hunt again..."_

"Muraki..." Tsuzuki squeaked at the exact moment Hisoka walked in.

"Hisoka! Hisoka! Muraki-bunny-chocolate-strawberry-BLOOD!" he huffed, obviously disturbed by the treat. Hisoka eyed it with a curious look before realizing that it was his rabbit.

"Oh, you found my rabbit."

"You're not hearing me! Hisoka, Muraki wants to get rid of you that way he can have his way with me!"

"Don't get too full of yourself..."

"But-wait, what'd you mean by _my rabbit_."

Hisoka hesitated before answering. "Like you said, Muraki's planning my demise."

"Exactly!"

"What are we supposed to do, Sherlock?"

Tsuzuki looked around frantically. "I dunno! We need to-is that chocolate at the corner of your mouth?" Hisoka gasped slightly and frantically wiped his mouth.

"No..."

"Then what is it?"

"...dried up blood..."

"So he's already tried at your life?"

Hisoka nodded. "Yeah...he...tried killing me...yeah..."

"Is that strawberry syrup on your hands?"

"No..."

"Then what is it?"

"...newly shed blood..."

"So he's tried again?"

Watari poked his head in. "Hey, I don't know if you guys got one, but I found a weird chocolate bunny on my desk. When I bit it, it had strawberry syrup. How creepy..."

Hisoka paled. "I didn't put a bunny there..."

"Wait-what?"

Tsuzuki looked at him. "You tried to scare us, didn't you?"

"No! Well, I did for Tsuzuki, but I didn't try to scare Watari!"

Watari looked at the rabbit. "Then if you didn't...who...did?"

Tatsumi smiled to himself at home with a chocolate bunny with raspberry filling.


End file.
